Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
