tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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