my mouth tastes like poor choices
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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