I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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