Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
