I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize