On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
