I just cut my nipple shaving
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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