I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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