Banned from zoo.
Again?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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