Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
