Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
