you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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