It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize