Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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