How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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