he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
