Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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