I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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