I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just had sex bonerless
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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