I cut my penus on the lid.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
