Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
