dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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