You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
