I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
