You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
