Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
