Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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