Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
