Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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