What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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