Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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