The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
