its not stalking. its research.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
