He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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