Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Do vagina's smell?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
How does it feel to date your dad?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
