I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize