Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
