K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
