I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
