it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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