I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
