16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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