My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
