Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize