Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
