he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
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when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
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Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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