how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
