your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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