Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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