he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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