If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize