HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
