somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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