I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she told me i tasted like america
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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