I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
