I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
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Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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