You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize