Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
