I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
