these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
