I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
