that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
