her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
