is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
