Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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